ANZ Bank/Black Pepper Clothing – Panania, NSW
With all the outrage and media attention directed toward the impending closure (or just closure, if you’re reading this in the future) of Panania’s Commonwealth Bank branch, anyone would think the community had never lost a bank before.
Just take a look directly across the road from the soon-to-be-blog-worthy Commonwealth: another ex-ANZ. You’ll note the distinctive striped shopfront design that has proven nearly impossible to remove in past instances, and the residue of the extra-strength glue they used to bolt their fitful branding above the awning. Hell, even the ugly tilework has remained (much to the detriment of current tenants Black Pepper). In fact, essentially the only thing that hasn’t stuck around are the customers. Are you listening, Commonwealth?
And if the A Current Affair story on the Panania Whichbank doesn’t tug at your heartstrings, don’t forget: every time a bank branch closes, a BSB number becomes an orphan. ;_;
Coles/Delphi Bank & HSBC – Burwood, NSW
In further evidence that the world is an evil place, I present to you Exhibit ZZY. Once a quaint, harmless little art-deco Coles supermarket and variety store, this Burwood Road location now offers only a variety of soulless banking institutions, neither of which could afford decent paint:
While we’re on the topic, remember when Coles was just a supermarket? Now, each Coles pretty much functions as a bank: you can withdraw, deposit, you wait in a long line to get treated like dirt, and they assault you with painful television ads in your own home. In a further chilling parallel, Coles is even attempting an insurance service now, which by all accounts seems to be going over as well as those Status Quo ads.
Super Pizza Italian Restaurant/Kuo Fu Palace – Burwood, NSW
Don’t you want me, baby?
You were once a pizza restaurant and a cocktail bar…
Don’t you want me? AAAOOOOWWWW
…now you’re Kuo Fu.
Yes, you know you’re looking into the past when you’re dealing with cocktail bars, lurid green lettering and a perceived difference between a booking and an advance reservation. What is it about those old signs that were built to last so long? Do you think that 40 years from now someone will be writing about that charging station in Burwood that used to be Kuo Fu?
There’s no telling just how old the Super Pizza restaurant is, but judging by the font and presentation it’d have to have started in the early 80s, if not late 70s – perhaps named off the back of 1978’s hit film Superman. If we go back to the 1920s, 232 Burwood Road was home to Mellor Bros Electrical and Radio Supplies.
Evening News, Mar 17 1923.
It probably took up the whole building. Today, aside from being the home of Burwood’s funniest spoonerism, the upstairs section that was once the scene of so many smoky Saturday nights at the cocktail bar set to the then-ubiquitous warble of the Bee Gees is now…a mortgage broker.
The least they could have done was call it Super Picadilly.
It may be extremely subtle, but at least their signage doesn’t force you to crane your neck. I’d like to think they still offer ‘super fast home delivery to your door’.
Pizza Hut/Exciting New Development Coming Soon – Woonona, NSW
Why Pizza Hut, I didn’t recognise you without your signature red (or green) roof and 70s decor. What were you going for here?
Woonona is notable for being the site of the first attempted landing on Australian soil by Captain James Cook in 1770. Rough seas prevented that landing, and he was forced to sail on to Botany Bay.
Pizza Hut don’t appear to have faced such conditions. Woonona’s original Pizza Hut was apparently only ever a take-away affair, with locals missing out on the eat-in experience. This meant that locals also missed out on sneezed-on salad bars, cold pizzas sitting out all day and a wide variety of leftovers fused to poorly washed plates. You’ve really gotta feel for the Woononians.
What’s interesting about this Pizza Hut is how even back in the day, when the Hut was building its trademarked eat-in restaurants all over Australia, they didn’t deem this area – between Wollongong and the Sutherland Shire – a viable enough zone to bother, instead taking over whatever this building was (possibly a panelbeater by the look of it?) and decking it out Hut-style. Why does Hut-style involve such indelible signage? A mystery for the ages…
Now, I’d like to stop proceedings right here to draw a valid comparison. I just can’t keep it bottled up inside any longer. I’ve always felt that the original, superior Pizza Hut logo:
reminded me of another glorious former logo:
…while the Hut’s new branding:
is to me highly reminiscent of that other organisation’s new standard:
Am I wrong? Is it mere coincidence, or is there some larger conspiracy at work? You bloody well decide, I’m not here to do your thinking for you!
The Hut had moved on by 2008 at the latest, and after a long time on the market, the building is now in the capable hands of the guys who were inside renovating and giving me funny looks the day I took the above photo. What, you’ve never seen a dude taking a photo of an old Pizza Hut before?
Corner Shop/Residential – Merrylands, NSW
Once upon a time, on the corner of Henson Street and Chetwynd Road, Merrylands, there existed a corner shop.
All the locals would journey to the shop whenever they were out of the Big Three: bread, milk, cigarettes. For those who couldn’t make the trip, perhaps those too elderly to easily leave their houses, the shop provided free delivery.
In the summertime, on their way to or from the local pool, or maybe just in the midst of riding around the streets on their BMX bikes, kids would stop in for ice cream, or drinks of the icy cold variety. 
In the 80s specifically, their choice would have been that of the new generation.
None of that “Good on ya, Mum” nonsense here – strictly Buttercup Bread. Today, the name seems to have disappeared, but it lives on through the ‘Mighty Soft’ brand for those of you interested.
Those shelves, once fully stocked to provide a community with the essentials, are now empty. If you imagine it as a metaphor for the emptiness of the concept of community in the modern age, you’ll probably wind up feeling pretty bummed out, so don’t do it.
This shop may be confined to Merrylands, but the underlying themes apply to just about every has-been corner shop in any suburb. They’re relics from another era, and one that can never be again.
Past/Lives of the Near Future 