St. George Express House/Z&Y Lighting – Hurstville, NSW
I wasn’t aware that the St. George Express newspaper had ended its run, but apparently Hurstville didn’t have all the lighting it needed so something had to give. St. George Express was started in 1986, and I suppose it would have been in direct competition with the Leader, the other local paper. The last issue of the St. George Express was in 2011.
Blockbuster Video/Rivers Clearance Superstore – Hurstville, NSW
Hmm, what's that big movie ticket shaped sign all about then, eh Rivers?
In the beginning, there was Video Ezy. And it was good. The first Video Ezy store in Australia, it sat on the corner of Forest Road and Queens Road, Hurstville, and had a carpark out the back where each spot was done up to look like it was reserved for a particular 90s superstar. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore were not beside each other. But the small space allotted to Video Ezy wasn’t big enough, so the Caltex petrol station across the road made way for BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO, the biggest, most explosive video shop experience the 90s had ever seen. It had it all – TVs built into the GROUND! Two storeys of videos, with the action and porn upstairs TOGETHER! Sonic the Hedgehog flying a plane IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOP!
Yes, you read that right. The shop also featured a drive-thru feature for those not extreme enough to handle the assault on the senses waiting inside. I always thought about how annoying it must have been to be the drive-thru operator at Blockbuster, especially in the 90s, and despite the helpful Top 10 Hottest Movies list they had outside:
45th CUSTOMER OF THE DAY: Hmm…The Specialist! What’s that about?
BLOCKBUSTER GUY: Uh…Stallone–
CUSTOMER: No. Cliffhanger! What’s that one about?
BLOCKBUSTER GUY: Kill me.
These days, it’s pretty standard shoeshop fare inside. Even the floor TVs are gone. They went to a lot of effort to paint over things, but clearly only in the areas they knew the customers would be. Blockbusters everywhere are disappearing rapidly as the video shop ice age sets in. Rivers on the other hand are set for life – people will always need terrible looking ties.
Alan Williams Karate Centre/nothing – Penshurst, NSW
More like PensHURTS
Right now you’re feeling as excited as I was to stumble upon this sign. B-B-B-B-BAM! Damn! It’s like a FIVE HIT COMBO to your GROIN!
WHACK – Alan Williams!
SOCK – Alan Williams’ name in its original katakana!
BIFF – He has a KARATE centre!
THWACK – Tae Kwon Do too!
OOF – the official Alan Williams dojo logo featuring the official fist of ALAN WILLIAMS.
Now you’re stumbling around, numb from the waist down, and all you can think about is HOW DO I GET DOWN THOSE STAIRS AND SIGN UP?
Well sadly, there are no stairs. At all. There is no dojo, nor is there an Alan Williams. Maybe there never was. The only people who would ever see this sign are those heading to the TAB at the end of this bizarre corridor, so maybe downstairs is some kind of veiled reference to hell.
Australian & Chinese Take Away/Indian Hut – Penshurst, NSW
In the 1950s and 60s, a lot of Chinese restaurants offered Australian cuisine because racist old cobbers refused to eat ‘Oriental Chinko food’ and demanded options. Yep, nothing like getting take-away for a treat on Friday night and having the same steak and veggies you had all week, only instead of cooking it for you, your wife goes and gets it.
Unrelated, Indian Hut seems to have been okay to leave the Australian and Chinese bit of the shopfront bare, but painted over a Coca-Cola advert. Maybe they’re Pepsi people.
State Bank/Vinnies – Hurstville, NSW
State Bank, Hurstville, 1986. Image from Hurstville Council.
The State Bank of NSW started life in 1933 as the Rural Bank of NSW. In 1982 its name was changed to the State Bank, and in 1994 was sold to Colonial. The Colonial State Bank carried on until 2000, when it was taken over by the Commonwealth Bank. For the unenlightened, CommBank love money to the point where they’d take it from a posse of old women hawking old Burt Bacharach cassettes and Queen Elizabeth II memorial coaster sets…
Former State Bank, 2012. The clock wasn't working.
The building still sports a safe, and one of these:
For midnight deliveries of bulk lots of X-Files VHS tapes.
Vinnies are pretty thorough with their signage, but there’s always something to give it away. Observe:
Dot your i's, Vinnies.
If by Hurstville you mean a building appropriated for at least the second time hawking things nobody wants on a one-way street then yes, this truly is Hurstville.
Past/Lives of the Near Future 