Forestville Video/Old English Fish ‘N’ Chips – Forestville, NSW
The dead and buried past regularly finds itself betrayed by even the most unassuming Judas. In the case of Forestville Video at #14 The Centre (don’t miss out, book ahead on 451 3040), the footfalls in the crypt belong to oversized clown shoes.
Krusty’s Fun House, a puzzle game for Sega’s Master System featuring characters from The Simpsons, was an ideal rental upon release in 1992. Tough enough to challenge you over a rainy weekend (or a week at best), but not a keeper. The Flying Edge title found an appropriate home at Forestville Video.
And there, it also found a family. Forestville Video appears to have been “The Centre” of all things Master System, with titles galore to satisfy the weekend cravings of Forestvillians.
And like dandelion seeds borne on the wind, Forestville Video’s Master System library has made its way out into the wider world. Even a cursory glance managed to find them as far as Modbury, Reservoir and even Hobart.
But them’s the spores; what about the source?
On the fringe of the Northern Beaches, Forestville is often overshadowed by its neighbour, Frenchs Forest. But it has its own virtues: plenty of trees, a distinct lack of Tony Abbott these days, and this bustling shopping centre. But it’s not just any centre. This is THE Centre.
The very same! Today, Centurions come here for cakes, cafes and Coles. It’s been a very long time since anyone turned to The Centre with a week of Master System on their mind. Until I rocked up, anyway.
Here’s that core, that heart of Sega goodness as it existed for years. In Australia, the Master System was a viable concern between about 1987 and 1994-ish, so it’s safe to assume that by the time the above photo accompanied this slobbering review in 2011, the games were long gone.
Should I look on things positively purely because of their nostalgia? Because that’s how I feel about Forestville Video.
And so begins Sally R’s breathless account of a dying king’s final days (with a Top Video crown, no less). She goes on to say that although the owner is a lovely old man, the shop itself was looking rather tired. Maybe Krusty and Golvellius were still there after all?
Forestville Video is located in Forestville’s creatively-titled “The Centre”, and looks as though it’s been there for the past thirty years. A small and sometimes dusty store, Forestville Video is truly the stuff of childhoods for us 90’s kids. It has all the ingredients of what made a great night for 1996; copious amounts of lollies and softdrinks, new releases on video and a fairly negotiable late fee policy.
None of that today.
Replaced by a modern milk bar, any “’90s kids” looking for jollies best jog on should they find themselves at The Centre. The toy shop, Kids Paradise, is full of strange ersatz Lego kits seemingly generated by AI; the corpse of the TAB has been coopted by a tax agent; and the pizza option is Dominos. More like the centre of hell…
Anyway, how do I know that Old English is Forestville Video? After all, it’s not like FV was the ‘ville’s only video option back in Sally R’s heyday:
That’s right. Video Ezy, one of the industry’s giants, came to play in Forestville. Shop 25 (today a pharmacy) is located opposite Shop 14, making this into one of the more interesting video shop head to heads of the era. Forestville Video ultimately prevailed, with Video Ezy content to shrivel into one of those vending machines and relocate to nearby Forestway Shopping Centre. A TKO, I think that’s known in industry parlance.
No, the evidence you crave can be found stamped right on Old English’s dirty brick posterior. Let’s away!
It’s seen much better days, but this sign tells us more about the colourful history of The Centre than even Sally R’s faded memories. Tear your eyes away from that bathroom and take a closer look.
Old as it looks, this sign is actually younger than the Master System games found strewn across the used gamiverse. The phone number (book ahead, seriously!) is preceded by a nine, a post-1994 development. Find a Sony PlayStation game with the Forestville Video branding and it’s likely to corroborate.
Also of note: Forestville Video was your headquarters for tennis court bookings. The court still exists, found nearby at Melwood Sports Complex, but the combination of sport and the ultimate prone pastime seems like an uneasy alliance. Maybe it was a role the lovely old man took on out of guilt for all the guts he was responsible for.
Less surprising is the reference to the TAB, which was a couple of doors north of Forestville Video. The final iteration of Forestville TAB was much smaller than the “next to” direction suggests, but as you can see in the photo of Old English, vintage TAB livery can be seen right beside it. It’s likely the TAB downsized as the area’s clubs cut its deplorable lunch. Also, the acronym doesn’t usually feature the periods, so methinks this is just a bit of free advertising on behalf of a lovely old man who may have been a patron.
Old video games are a goldmine of reminders of a world the Sally R in all of us pines for, a world when happiness cost $3 weekly and the game was only ever really over when the fine was due. Next time you pick up an ex-rental game, take a closer look and see where it takes you.
The Corner Grill Cafe – Belmore, NSW
It looks like any other drab line of shops on a dreary corner in Dullsville.
See?
So what’s the reason for our focus on this windswept Belmore street corner on such an unseasonably brisk evening?
I thought you’d never ask.
The Corner Grill Cafe has failed. The grill is dormant, the shakes are neither shaken nor stirred, and the chips remain a mere gleam in a spud’s eye. Don’t believe the signs; they’re open zero days, and there’s no home to deliver.
This location has long served up junk food to the masses – just look at the ghost sign on the building’s south:
And in that earlier time, the corner shop backed onto some kind of mechanic. It’s now an IT consultant, but the evidence is there:
Despite that, it’s nothing special. Just another small business caught in the thresher of the conglomerates that absorb everything we rely on. The blood has dried, and the scene of the crime is now available on a twelve month lease.
What caught my eye, however, was this.
This is what elevates the Corner Grill Cafe – and indeed, the whole block of shops – to being worthy of a handful of words on the internet. Someone cared.
Whoever it was that founded the Corner Grill, that did their research, signed the lease, had the signs made, ordered the milkshake powder and on whose orders thousands of coffee beans were ground to death, that person believed in their idea, as wholly unoriginal as it was, and they gave a gift to an audience they thought they knew.
They believed that this corner of Belmore needed the Corner Grill Cafe, and only in the way they could provide it. They believed that it would fly, that the air would benefit from the smell of juicy, flame-grilled burgers instead of cigarette smoke and desperate living.
They believed that the arcade games that used to make the adjacent corner shop (and countless others like it) sing still had a place, however abstract, on Yangoora Street. They believed that the community had a place for their dream, and they commissioned this artwork to prove it.
That they were wrong doesn’t matter. They left their mark, and these days, that’s enough.
Milk Bar/Pet Salon/For lease – Ramsgate, NSW
Cast your mind back to a time when you’d get the bus down to the beach, when the air was scented with coconut oil, Alpines, Chiko Rolls and the exhaust from the Monaro idling in the car park there while the driver chats up those bikini babes.
Back when the skies were blue, phones were hardwired to the wall, and petrol was leaded. Sound familiar? These are Brighton beach memoirs of a different kind, an experience shared by an entire generation, and one that’s just about relegated to the history blogs.
It sure doesn’t look familiar. While the bus stop seat is unmistakably 70s beach culture, the view from the Grand Parade down to Ramsgate Beach ain’t what it used to be. Sure, I’ve picked a particularly overcast day to exaggerate the point, but I wasn’t the one responsible for this:
Where once you would have run up the beach Baywatch-style, hotfooted across the scorching road, and basked in the relief of the shade before heading in for a Cornetto or a Bubble O’ Bill on a hot summer’s afternoon, today’s terrible world provides you with only painful memories.
A world so terrible that selling ice creams, icy cold cans of drink and burgers across from a beach is no longer viable. What happened?
Even if you were running up the beach with your filthy-ass dog, hotfooting between hostile traffic and basking in the relief of knowing you won’t have to vacuum sand and dog hair out of the car later, you’re outta luck.
I don’t actually know why you’d start up a business like this in a location like that. This kind of shop should be zoned strictly as milk bar. It should be official. You should be hauled off to prison for even attempting a farce like this.
Then again, since it’s for lease, we don’t know that isn’t how it went…
Haunting reminders of the good times remain. The Streets sign here proves that only the most desirable ice creams would have been on offer (face facts: nobody wanted Pauls).
Luckily, we can take small comfort in the fact that that uniquely Australian Streets logo is still smiling down on the beach.
Elsewhere, we can (barely) see that the Pet Salon’s bolt-on sign is covering the familiar Coca-Cola bookend ads commonly found on milk bar awnings. Imagine the disappointment the day the local beach crew showed up here for their hot chips and Cokes, only to find lice cream and fine-tooth combs up for grabs? No wonder they hung up the Billabong shorts and Piping Hot rash shirts (ha ha, just kidding. Nobody wore Piping Hot).
I’ve made the call before, but once again it’s relevant: if we, as a nation, were to tear down these signs and expose the past we crave so often, we could transform this country overnight. We’ve buried the time machine, and all we need to do is dig it up.
It’s thirsty work, I grant you. I’ll bring the icy cold Cokes, cuz we sure ain’t getting them here.
BACKWARDS UPDATE: Straight from the formidable Google Street View, it’s a shot of this milk bar from 2007! Strangely, the Streets sign was covered by a Cornetto ad. Big thanks to reader Billy Bob for the heads-up on this one.
Dolls Point Take Away, 2007. Image courtesy Google Street View
Burgermaster/nothing – Canterbury, NSW
A burger…master. Mayor McCheese, I presume?
As we’ve discussed many times before, milk bars are dinosaurs: fondly remembered, but when they turn up in the wild they’re completely fossilised. Is Canterbury Road, Canterbury’s Burgermaster any different?
No. A look inside shows the sad, decrepit remains of what was once a kitchen where dreams were made and hunger was satisfied. And it’s actively rotting. Take a look at the same view just five years ago.
But what’s most interesting about this place, particularly from a visual standpoint, are the cigarette ads plastered all over the shopfront. They built these things to last:
As a product, Borkum Riff first appeared in the 60s, and judging by the depiction of the guy here, so did this ad.
In 1992, the Tobacco Advertising Prohibition Act came into effect in Australia, by which point cigarette advertising on TV, radio and local print media had already been banned. By 1995, familiar phrases like “Fresh is Alpine”, “You’re laughing!” and the ubiquitous “…anyhow, have a Winfield” had been completely erased from the cultural landscape, and nobody ever smoked again.
Perhaps aware that the end was nigh, these tobacco companies invested in some heavy duty glue for their final bombardment.
In the case of Port Royal, a heavy duty moustache was also necessary to seal the deal. Doubtless this heroic mo has inspired thousands to roll their own in the years since.
…anyhow, the thought of the combined taste of burgers, milkshakes and Winnie greens is absolutely doing it for me, and since we won’t be getting any here, it’s time to head off. There’s gotta be something open along here somewhere…
Burger joint/Under construction – Lilyfield, NSW
Image courtesy Andrea Cook
How common a sight is this? Even if we’re not living in the golden age of the take-away shop (and we really aren’t), you still can’t seem to swing a dead focaccia in Sydney’s suburbs without hitting one of these, or an ex-one of these.
For those readers too young (pfft, yeah right) to remember, let me take you back for a moment. In my day, you could go to these places called milk bars or take-aways, which were usually plastered in Coca-Cola advertising. Not Pepsi…never Pepsi.
Image courtesy Andrea Cook
They’d make hot food and keep it in these giant contraptions called bain maries, which made it impossible to tell how long it’d been there. Crucially, they were also trojan horses into the then-fledgeling world of ethnic food: Australians not open minded enough to actually go to a Greek restaurant might still have a souvlaki at their local take-away. Ingenious, really.
This particular take-away seems to have spent most of its early years as a residential property before taking the plunge into the deep-fry. The kind of fatty junk sold here probably filled the stomachs of the blue-collar workers who once populated the area, or the staff and patients of Callan Park Mental Hospital which is just across the road, but as times and tastes changed it was out with the milkshakes and schnitzels (mmm, together at last), and in with the coffee and rolls.
But let’s go back even earlier, shall we, to a time before deep fried food clogged Australia’s arteries…
Dubbo Liberal and Macquarie Advocate, 11 February 1939
You’d better believe Mrs. Cutting wasn’t serving up dim sims and Chiko rolls to her 50 guests. I wonder if Dubbo’s local papers still herald the homecoming of any travelling Dubbogan (Dubsider? Dubbocastrian?)
The celebrations didn’t last long, because by 1943 the Cuttings had cut loose, and the jocks were in.
As you can see, Mr. John Smith (dynamic name, no wonder he became Jock) lived right here in the mid-1940s while working as a labourer. SEE? I WASN’T MAKING ALL THAT UP ABOUT IT BEING BLUE COLLAR!
SMH 13 July 1949
Ahem. But once Jock’s labours were over, business became a little…mixed. A dynasty that would last over six decades began here for a measly 1500 pounds. I wonder if the take-away was making 140 pounds a week?
Google Street View, July 2014
As recently as last year, the newly minted Rozelle Coffee Lounge was still feeding the locals, but in a much harsher, more competitive environment. Go to Rozelle today and there are gourmet cafes on every corner, so the more meat-and-potatoes establishments face an uphill battle, and that’s probably why the Coffee Lounge isn’t around today.
Image courtesy Andrea Cook
As the suburb has become gentrified and all the blue collars have turned to ironic skivvies, there’s no longer any call for a place like this. The Coffee Lounge knew it, as it’s currently under construction, presumably transforming into something more suitable to today’s clientele.
I don’t know about you, but I’ll always find those Coca-Cola takeaways suitable. There’s something really…comforting about them. If you drive into a country town and things are looking unfamiliar and unsettling in a Deliverance kind of way, a place like this is all you need to soften the sound of the banjos.
Past/Lives of the Near Future 
