El Rancho Pottery/Pure Flow Bottled Water – Ryde, NSW
It’s sad to say, but themed businesses are really on the way out, if not already extinct. Back in the boomtime, El Rancho Pottery cared enough to maintain their Mexican theme by putting cacti in the front garden of their otherwise drab Porter Street location. Think about that – a pottery barn went the whole enchilada so to speak, and established a theme – an old west atmosphere in which to buy garden products. They cared. Hell, they even cared enough to set up on Porter Street in the off chance some dork would one day make a tenuous connection between the words Porter and pottery. Does Pure Flow care enough to draw in customers with so much as a fountain? A water feature? One of those water coolers? No.
Yet El Rancho is the past life here. It just doesn’t add up.
Then again, water does rhyme with Porter…
Petersen’s Quality Butcher/Nagas Mixed Business – Arncliffe, NSW
I’d hate to see a low class deli.
Mixed businesses are the street shop equivalent of duplex homes. Covered now as it is in cheap phone recharge offers, this place no longer seems as ‘high class’ as Old Man Petersen once boasted. I wonder if Lebara would let you keep a six digit number?
Longhurst & Andrew/Pancakes – George Street, Sydney NSW
Established in 1934, Longhurst & Andrew is a security firm specialising in locksmithing, alarm systems and surveillance. This address on George Street, just beside the Event Cinema complex, used to be its registered office. Now, it’s a pancake shop. Do we as a society care more about liqueur pancakes than we do about security? ‘Yes,’ we reply with our mouths full.
Sir Joseph Banks Hotel/Sir Joseph Banks Hotel – Botany, NSW
The Sir Joseph Banks Hotel, Botany Road.
While spending time in Botany yesterday, I walked past the Sir Joseph Banks Hotel on Botany Road, turned down Waratah Road, and found myself staring at…the Sir Joseph Banks Hotel? What?!
The Sir Joseph Banks Hotel, Anniversary Street.
This bigger hotel stood in front of a large park, so I’ll fill you in as we explore the park. It turned out that this hotel was the original Sir Joseph Banks Hotel, built in 1844. In 1920, the second Sir Joe was built on Botany Road, and the pub license was transferred to it, leaving the original free to become private units, which is how it is today.
Running track, Sir Joseph Banks Pleasure Gardens.
That’s the dull part out of the way. The interesting part of this place is the garden, which has provided Sydney with a few major firsts since 1850. Here, at the garden’s running track, foot racing events were *yawn* held throughout the 1880s during the… professional running boom…I know, I know. We’ll get there.
Also held at this running track was Australia’s first game of representative rugby league, in which the South Sydney Probables clashed with the Possibles. I’m guessing the Likelies played against the Maybes the week after.
Okay, now, the most interesting thing about this park is that it was home to Australia’s first zoo. The site’s owner at the time, a timber merchant named William Beaumont, improved the hotel and created the ‘Pleasure Gardens’, which is a more scandalous and giggle-inducing name today than it would have been back then. The gardens included the private zoo.
Bell’s Life in Sydney and Sporting Reviewer, Sat 27 Sep, 1856.
It’s hard to imagine tigers and elephants wandering around the grounds these days, so to assist you, the City of Botany Bay has erected a series of life size animal statues. In a way it helps, but in another way it’s kind of creepy. Judge for yourself.
The park was entirely restored and upgraded for the Bicentenary in 1988, and the effort’s corporate sponsors were immortalised in concrete at the east end of the park.
It’s interesting to note just how few of these brand names are widely visible today. Ampol and Esso were both absorbed by their parent companies, proving once again that no one is safe from the Big Oil Killuminati. Maxwell Chemical Corporation, which is just the kind of name you want to see emblazoned on your pleasure garden, has moved offshore. Seagram seems to have disappeared from the corporate environment in New South Wales, at least. Even Pascol Paints has been absorbed by Wattyl, going against all advice you were ever given about mixing paints.
The most striking thing about this place is how secluded it feels. It’s off the main road, but the whole suburb of Botany feels a world away from Sydney as it is. I suppose in that regard, it was the perfect environment for a zoo. The most important feature of the garden today are the series of ponds that form protected wetlands. The whole park sits on land reclaimed from Botany Bay, so some attempt at looking after the marine life there is better than none at all.
Meanwhile, up at the Sir Joseph Banks Hotel Pub Edition, you’d never know any of it was there. Here, they just sit, and drink, and smoke, and bet, and watch the millionth game of rugby league played since the days of probability vs possibility.
I think about it this way: the goings-on of the Sir Joseph Banks Pub on Botany Road are indicative of all that’s probable, but the Victorian wonderland and colourful history of the Sir Joseph Banks Hotel and Pleasure Gardens are all about what’s possible.
Orchard’s Corner/Raben Footwear – Haymarket, NSW
Raben Footwear may seem like it’s been at this Haymarket corner location for a thousand years, but in a time before Doc Martens and skinheads, the site belonged to Richard Beaumont Orchard, a watchmaker, jeweller and politician. Orchard’s original building had been demolished by the city in order to extend Quay Street to George Street, so to compensate he was given this building. Not sure whose idea it was to add the cheesy orchard-themed clock, though.
Orchard was a Sydney personality in the early 20th century; a sailor, an actor, founding Commissioner of the ABC and Federal Member for Nepean (Lib). By all accounts he seems like the kind of guy who’d have the ‘My Family’ stickers on the back of his car. His skills as a sloganeer left much to be desired, however; ‘Orchard’s: where the watches grow’. These days, you can find Orchard at Rookwood Cemetery, where he was buried after his watch stopped for good in 1942.
Past/Lives of the Near Future 