The Ballad of Tuncurry Plaza – Tuncurry, NSW
It’s an Australian tradition – a summer holiday where you all pile into the family car and tolerate each others’ company in close proximity for several hours before stopping at a beachside town for a week or so of fun, laughter, awkward silence, teen angst, Bubble O’ Bills, arguments, bitterness, shifting allegiances, charcoal chicken, backstabbing, fishing, violence and ultimately, relief at returning to the social fold.
Or was it just me?
Forster Tuncurry is one of those towns, like Ulladulla or the Entrance, usually associated with that summer pilgrimage, and fortunately, it’s well equipped to handle any needs you may have during your trip. Forget one of those creature comforts? Head over to Tuncurry Plaza, they’ve got you covered!
Or do they?
Gee, it’s looking a little…sparsely populated right now, but it does tick all the boxes. Hair salon?
Supermarket?
Chicken shop?
Uh…is it Sunday?
Okay, butcher?
You’re making me look bad, Tuncurry Plaza! You gotta at least have some thoughtful things…
Aw, come on!
Tuncurry Plaza’s plaque claims the centre opened in 1996, but the architecture suggests a time decades earlier. Maybe they renovated and extended it in ’96 to handle all the *snort* extra customers…
Step 1: Get people to come inside. Step 2: Evacuate.
As it stands, the place is a tomb. The women in the pharmacy asked me what the hell I was doing taking photos, but when I explained what I do, they were much more forthcoming. A familiar soap opera of local egos, greed and apathy explained why things are the way they are here, but that’s not the interesting part, is it?
No, it’s that sense of total abandonment, like they could have just walked out yesterday. In a world becoming more and more populated by the day, to find a place that’s completely empty and silent is a rare treat. Behold:
No more picking up a Dan Brown or Kaz Cooke to half-read on the beach while you tan, only to spill sand all over your bed when you try to finish it back home…
Hard to find, alright.
No more watery coffee and stale scones while you wait for him to buy a replacement for that torch he swore he packed but is sitting on the kitchen table at home…
While we’re at it, no replacement torch.
Definitely NO toilet breaks.
Some of the tenants had moved out to the street where, y’know, people are.
…while some had vanished without a trace.
There’s plenty of parking, natch.
Though this bastard stole my spot.
Although we can’t take the failure of Tuncurry Plaza as a standard for such places across the country, it’s certainly something you’re seeing more and more. Just look at Newcastle – a city-sized Tuncurry Plaza, which has required government intervention in order to live again. Look at Holbrook, where not even a submarine could save it from going under. Port Macquarie, which is dangerously close to being renamed Port Macarthur.
The need for expedient travel is killing places like this. As we live longer, as work demands more of us, and as the internet is making it easier to plan trips for ourselves, we’re trying to cram more into our leisure time. Once upon a time, you’d brag about your summer trip to Tuncurry. Now, unless you’ve been to St. Barts or Mauritius, you keep it to yourself.
Ain’t nobody wanna see this on their feed:
Butcher/Residential – Auburn, NSW
Even the most quiet and unassuming of streets or buildings could have been the site of scandal and intrigue at some point in the past. A little research goes a long way: a quick check of Trove revealed that a street I grew up on was the scene of an inter-war triple murder and several gruesome accidents! It’s the kind of thing that makes for great reading on a cold, rainy afternoon.
So if you live on Melton Street, Auburn, I hope it’s raining right now.
SMH, April 6 1950
While I’m not going to bother getting into the nitty-gritty of 1950s meat price regulations, the space allotted by the newspaper to the above article should tell you all you need to know about just how important this apparent non-event was.
For this one day, butcher Neil Johnson had his moment in the sun, having been accused of overcharging for meat. In his defence, he claimed that his meat was primo quality, so why shouldn’t he overcharge? The justice system wasn’t convinced, slapping a fine on Johnson that, according to the article, could have forced him out of business. Something certainly did.
The only thing butchered these days is the facade.
Now that you know the story, here’s where it happened. Pastel colours aside, Johnson’s butchery today is completely unassuming. It’s just another ex-corner shop no one gives a damn about. I’m not saying everyone should, but I never cease to find fascination in these little stories that make Sydney’s suburbia more than just a network of streets.
You can still read it if you squint, believe me.
And that’s just what we can see from the outside. Would the interior still be recognisable as a butchery? Does it still carry the stench of Johnson’s failure? Given the current state of Sydney housing prices, they’re questions that for the majority of us will never be answered. Talk about overcharging…
Butcher/Cashman Money Lent – Hurstville, NSW
While we’re on the subject of Hurstville, here’s a place a little bit further down Forest Road.
When I look at a place like this, I wonder what the butcher would think if he was transported from his time to Hurstville as it exists today. Would he shed a tear at two money lent shops replacing his life’s work? Would he conclude from the existence of two money lents side by side that today’s economy ain’t what it used to be? That the world has gotten so bad that we’re now cavalierly profiting from human misfortune more than animal? Or would he just think they were modern day banks (in which case he wouldn’t be far off)?
Also, there’s something about that font that chills me. I’m not talking about the Cashman font (terrifying as it is), I mean the ‘Butcher’ font. It almost makes you forget the brutality of the word itself. Gee, this was all a bit downbeat, wasn’t it? The countdown continues next time.
Tom’s Butcher/Residential – Botany, NSW
Butchers are kind of like morgues for livestock. Why don’t we think of them as being as grisly as human morgues? Back when Tom’s Butcher on Botany Road was still around, anyone who dared to proclaim they didn’t eat meat would have been subject to ridicule, abuse and worse. The side of this former butcher provides us with a perfect example:
GREG. CONMAN YOU. HAE. NO. BALLS COME BACK. I WILL. FIX. YOU. UP. Image courtesy Google Street View
I think vegetarians should feel proud that society’s now at a point where old butcheries are now units, old abattoirs are now Olympic stadiums, and old rib joints are now selling coverings for the floor of your unit or stadium. I’d like to think the animals feel pretty good about that too.
Petersen’s Quality Butcher/Nagas Mixed Business – Arncliffe, NSW
I’d hate to see a low class deli.
Mixed businesses are the street shop equivalent of duplex homes. Covered now as it is in cheap phone recharge offers, this place no longer seems as ‘high class’ as Old Man Petersen once boasted. I wonder if Lebara would let you keep a six digit number?
Past/Lives of the Near Future 